Buy a Car for a Cause

Most of you know the story of our recent "almost-adoption". Just a month ago, we were one piece of paperwork away from becoming parents to a precious little Taiwanese girl with a brain injury. It was clear that God was calling us to pursue this adoption.

Even though it was "crazy".
Even though we had our hands full with 3 kids.
Even though it was scary and inevitably life-changing.

We prayed and fasted, asking God to show us CLEARLY what He wanted to do. And we just wanted to be faithful, trusting God to guide us and protect us. I cannot tell you how much our lives changed through this process. Completely...I mean, COMPLETELY...trusting God gives you a different perspective on life forever. The purpose of this blog is not to tell this story, so I'll keep it short and save the details for another time. But, in short, God clearly told us to stop when we were so close to bringing her home. We didn't understand why at the time, but we knew we had to stop pursuing this adoption. We spent more time in prayer, crying out to God for some understanding.

I questioned Him.
I doubted myself and our motives.
My heart was broken in a million pieces and I couldn't see the purpose.

One night when I was on my knees, praying for God's peace and understanding, a friend from a past Bible study came to mind. I felt that I should write her and tell her about this baby. I only spent a few weeks with her about 2 years ago, but I knew she worked with special needs children...so I thought, at the least, she could get the word out on her blogs. After a couple of correspondences, I was amazed to learn how God had been preparing her for this moment, just as He was using us. She told me that she and her husband had been praying about it, and when it came time to post the information onto her blog...she couldn't. She said she felt like they weren't praying for a little girl in Taiwan -- they were praying for their DAUGHTER. I think in that moment, my heart must have stopped. All of the heart-ache we'd been through and all the money we'd spent...it WAS to bring this baby home, just not in the way that we had planned. God used us to connect the dots, and I am so grateful. Not only did we help find her family, her family lives 15 miles away from us! In a couple of months I will get to hold her. I'll get to see her grow up. I'll be here to help in any way that I can. God's grace astounds me.

So that's where we are now. Here to help. We've decided to sell our car (one that we're not using) and give 100% of the money to her adoptive family to bring her home. So, if you or someone you know wants a good, reliable car...please let me know! The sooner we sell it, the sooner we can get this baby home! Email me at chrisganna@hotmail.com if you are interested, and I can send you details and pictures. It is a 2000 Honda Accord. It has had lots of work to bring it up to excellent working condition. $5,000.

Open Hands Part 2

"And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?" ~ Chris Tomlin

I love these words. They are so encouraging and so true. When God, the creator of the universe, is on your side, there is nothing that can overpower Him. HOWEVER, as I have seen so clearly over the past few months, there is never a time when the enemy tries harder to destroy us than when we are attempting to faithfully carry out God's plan. So while we cling to the promise that God will sustain us, protect us and guide us, we are fully aware that we've just stepped onto the front line of a battle that we could never win alone.

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I met Leslie for the first time at the pregnancy center in mid-June. On my fifteen-minute drive to the center, my heart was beating a mile a minute. I felt like I was getting ready to go on a blind date or something (I've never been on one, so I'm just guessing...). I had no idea what she looked like; I hadn't even talked to her on the phone.

All my anxieties seemed to disappear when I met her. She looked 'normal'; she was sweet & polite. Not the 3-headed monster I evidently thought was going to walk through the door. We talked about how things would be...the holidays, the birthdays, the "family time". It seemed like a match made in heaven. She wanted a family and we wanted to be that for her. We planned to have her move in within the next couple of weeks. We exchanged numbers and hugs and went our separate ways. I was so excited...this was really happening!

Before we knew it, move-in Saturday had come. She would be here by dinner time! Leslie and I exchanged several texts that day, and the kids could not wait to meet her. Several hours passed and I hadn't heard an update from her. She wouldn't return my texts and wasn't answering my phone calls. All of those warm and fuzzy feelings were turning into anxiety and fear. Something wasn't right, I could feel it in my heart. Six p.m, 7 p.m., 8 p.m...still no Leslie and no calls. I had to put the kids to bed and try to explain to them why she wasn't here. And I didn't have an answer. My head was spinning with thoughts about what might have happened. Was she okay? I knew she was in a potentially dangerous living situation...would someone hurt her? Or did she get cold feet and run? I called the director of the center, who called some coworkers, who called some other friends looking for any lead as to where Leslie might be. Nothing. By now it was almost midnight, so I went up and sat on her bed and prayed. I prayed that she was safe and that she would come back to us - that she would know that she could come back.

We got up and went to church the next day. My heart was so heavy. I just didn't get it. Why did God call us to do this, bring us this far, and then seem to abandon us? For the first time in my life, I honestly questioned Him. How could this be His plan?

Days went by and I still hadn't heard any news on Leslie. I texted a couple of times to reassure her that if she needed more time to decide if she wanted to move in, she could have it. We wanted her and we loved her...even if she ran away from us. We were still waiting with open arms. A friend who has had experience with similar situations counseled me to "give up". If Leslie wanted to get a hold of me, she could. She had my number...she knew how I felt about her. I took that advice and finally stopped trying to contact her. I had come to terms with the reality that this just wasn't going to happen. I even started thinking about the 'positives' to her disappearance. I could still have my happy little Christian bubble of a home. I wouldn't have to give up a bathroom and share ours with three kids! The bonus room would be awesome for house guests...yes, this wasn't so bad after all. I started to feel...relieved.

Thursday rolled around and I went out to do some errands. I reached in my purse to grab my keys and pulled out a little piece of paper that had Leslie's name and number on it. I still have no idea where it came from...I don't remember ever having her number on anything other than my phone. I think I stared at that paper for about 5 minutes. I was overwhelmed with the need to call her one more time. It's like God told me to pursue her...to not give up. After all, He doesn't give up on us. Even when we run in the opposite direction of his open arms, He waits, calling us back to Him. So I dialed. And after three long rings, this time there was an answer...

Open Hands Part I

"We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother and sister in need but shows no compassion -- how can God's love be in that person? Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions." 1 John 3:16-18

As many of you know, God has recently called us to do something many would, and do, consider 'crazy'. He's taken us so far out of our comfort zone that I can't even tell you what it means to be comfortable anymore. My life has been forever changed, my heart has been broken, and my eyes have been opened to what it truly means to live out the Gospel.

Ever since we started attending the Summit, the Holy Spirit has been stirring our hearts to discontent (in a good way). We've been struggling with the undeniable desire to 'do more' and what that means for our family. So we started praying that God would give us the opportunity to do something for Him, in response to the love and grace that He has poured out on us. Of course I had my own ideas about what this would look like: volunteering at the soup kitchen, throwing a baby shower for a single mom, giving our money more sacrificially. You will see as you read, God was on a slightly different page. Or maybe in a completely different book...

About 4 months ago we (when I say 'we', I really mean 'I') started 'dreaming' about how we would remodel our bonus room. Having three kids has made our living quarters a bit more cramped, and we wanted a nice place for our kids to be able to play and just 'be kids'. More honestly, a place they could destroy and I could just shut the door and no one would ever know! So one Sunday I was home with boys because they were sick, and Chris went to church with Jenna. Our pastor spoke on Luke 14, and challenged everyone to "invite people to your party." And he wasn't meaning those well-to-do, affluent people that would raise your social status and generously pay you back for your hospitality. He meant the ones that have nothing to give in return. The homeless, the unwed mother, the orphan, the widow, the high school drop-out. So (please give me grace...I hadn't heard this message yet :/ ), I pretty much met my husband at the door upon his return with a sketch of amazing ideas for the bonus room. A chalkboard wall, carpet squares, floor to ceiling storage for toys and crafts...you get the picture. His less than enthusiastic response to my ideas was really irritating! And then he said it. "I've been thinking about that, and I have a different idea..." Ughhhh. Of course you do :) Then he said, "I think we should turn the bonus room into an apartment for unwed pregnant women who need to get out of a bad situation. It would give you an opportunity to use your skills and talents as a mom and a mother/baby nurse as your ministry." I'm ashamed to say that I played the devil's advocate for about 15 minutes. I came up with every reason why we NEEDED that bonus room. Why we couldn't just let some stranger into our home, allowing her to influence our kids with who-knows-what. Why I couldn't do it -- I'm a mom of 3 kids 4 years and under, for goodness sake! Then, when I was finished with my selfish rampage, we both sat there in silence for a few seconds. All at once my heart was flooded with conviction. First of all, my husband, being the spiritual leader of our family, had come to me with something that God obviously put on his heart. I should have respected and trusted that more from the beginning. Secondly, I realized that the whole time I was spewing 'what-ifs', I was fighting the excitement in my own heart. I wasn't trying to convince Chris that we shouldn't do it; I was trying to convince myself.

So then we let God lead us and we've been hanging on for dear life. Before we even ripped up the carpet in the bonus room, Hand of Hope Pregnancy Center called to let us know they had a girl who wanted to move in with us. She'd just accepted Christ, she was only 9 weeks pregnant, and her name was Leslie. Immediately I was overwhelmed with love for her. I know it's weird, but it was kind of like the feeling I got when found out I was pregnant. My only explanation is that God gave me a glimpse of His love for her. Leslie was already a part of our family and I didn't know a thing about her. Not the color of her skin, her background, her age...and in that moment it didn't matter. God had called us to do this. And He would protect us. He would guide us. He would sustain us.

Caleb-Proofing

One of the most daunting challenges of raising our son has been child-proofing. The only cabinet lock that existed in our house B.C. (before Caleb) was a latch on the doors under the sink where all of the dangerous chemicals live. Actually, I routinely enjoyed making fun of all of the child-proofing devices for everything from the oven to the toilet. I mean, who in the world would ever have the need to put a child-safety lock on an oven? Don't people WATCH their children anymore??? And then God blessed us with our little Caleb. I now know why ALL of those gadgets were invented -- to prevent children like my precious, mischievous son from seriously injuring himself.

Caleb's newly acquired skills are getting out of his crib, opening his door, and appearing in our bedroom whenever he so desires. So, naturally, I child-proofed his room from top to bottom, including door knob covers that would make it impossible for him to get out. It took less than a day for my little prodigy to figure out how to hang on the door knob with all of his weight and break the covers off. Since putting our son in a cage or tethering him to the bed (I admit these ideas have crossed my mind on several occasions) might warrant a call to CPS, we are now down to the "God commands you to obey your parents" motivator. As you may have guessed, it would be much easier on us just to strap him in his bed. But after several nights of struggling to lovingly, yet firmly, put our son in his subordinate place as "child", he has slowly begun to realize no matter how long and hard he fights it, he will lose this battle. He will never know; however, how close he is to winning sometimes.