Open Hands Part I

"We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother and sister in need but shows no compassion -- how can God's love be in that person? Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions." 1 John 3:16-18

As many of you know, God has recently called us to do something many would, and do, consider 'crazy'. He's taken us so far out of our comfort zone that I can't even tell you what it means to be comfortable anymore. My life has been forever changed, my heart has been broken, and my eyes have been opened to what it truly means to live out the Gospel.

Ever since we started attending the Summit, the Holy Spirit has been stirring our hearts to discontent (in a good way). We've been struggling with the undeniable desire to 'do more' and what that means for our family. So we started praying that God would give us the opportunity to do something for Him, in response to the love and grace that He has poured out on us. Of course I had my own ideas about what this would look like: volunteering at the soup kitchen, throwing a baby shower for a single mom, giving our money more sacrificially. You will see as you read, God was on a slightly different page. Or maybe in a completely different book...

About 4 months ago we (when I say 'we', I really mean 'I') started 'dreaming' about how we would remodel our bonus room. Having three kids has made our living quarters a bit more cramped, and we wanted a nice place for our kids to be able to play and just 'be kids'. More honestly, a place they could destroy and I could just shut the door and no one would ever know! So one Sunday I was home with boys because they were sick, and Chris went to church with Jenna. Our pastor spoke on Luke 14, and challenged everyone to "invite people to your party." And he wasn't meaning those well-to-do, affluent people that would raise your social status and generously pay you back for your hospitality. He meant the ones that have nothing to give in return. The homeless, the unwed mother, the orphan, the widow, the high school drop-out. So (please give me grace...I hadn't heard this message yet :/ ), I pretty much met my husband at the door upon his return with a sketch of amazing ideas for the bonus room. A chalkboard wall, carpet squares, floor to ceiling storage for toys and crafts...you get the picture. His less than enthusiastic response to my ideas was really irritating! And then he said it. "I've been thinking about that, and I have a different idea..." Ughhhh. Of course you do :) Then he said, "I think we should turn the bonus room into an apartment for unwed pregnant women who need to get out of a bad situation. It would give you an opportunity to use your skills and talents as a mom and a mother/baby nurse as your ministry." I'm ashamed to say that I played the devil's advocate for about 15 minutes. I came up with every reason why we NEEDED that bonus room. Why we couldn't just let some stranger into our home, allowing her to influence our kids with who-knows-what. Why I couldn't do it -- I'm a mom of 3 kids 4 years and under, for goodness sake! Then, when I was finished with my selfish rampage, we both sat there in silence for a few seconds. All at once my heart was flooded with conviction. First of all, my husband, being the spiritual leader of our family, had come to me with something that God obviously put on his heart. I should have respected and trusted that more from the beginning. Secondly, I realized that the whole time I was spewing 'what-ifs', I was fighting the excitement in my own heart. I wasn't trying to convince Chris that we shouldn't do it; I was trying to convince myself.

So then we let God lead us and we've been hanging on for dear life. Before we even ripped up the carpet in the bonus room, Hand of Hope Pregnancy Center called to let us know they had a girl who wanted to move in with us. She'd just accepted Christ, she was only 9 weeks pregnant, and her name was Leslie. Immediately I was overwhelmed with love for her. I know it's weird, but it was kind of like the feeling I got when found out I was pregnant. My only explanation is that God gave me a glimpse of His love for her. Leslie was already a part of our family and I didn't know a thing about her. Not the color of her skin, her background, her age...and in that moment it didn't matter. God had called us to do this. And He would protect us. He would guide us. He would sustain us.